[ thanks so much for the support ]
a very emotional journal
i've been on deviantART for three years now. i signed up as a member on january 25, 2003, after clicking on a link on somebody's blog. i can't remember what it linked to, if it was to another member or to a single deviation. but i remember i thought it seemed like a great place to publish my best photos, a selection of the photos i had already started uploading to
fotki. it seemed like an amazing site, with all the resources and clubs and such a huge community.
it was only almost eight months later that i submitted my first photo, a
very casual one, and from then on i started submitting stuff more regularly. most of the works i submitted at that time are not on deviantart anymore, i deleted them from my gallery to make space to newer works, the ones that identify better with my current line of work. i deleted them because they were just the beginning of my love story with photography.
everything was going ok until the tech people on the job i was working at decided that DA was too distracting for their employees (read: me) and blocked it. i was working so hard to make a living i had no time left to access dA from home, so i slowly stopped submitting my art here. without being able to read everybody's comment, to write notes to my friend (such as ^
serpentinekiss, *
ButterflyLady, `
In-Apt, ~
tilq, and other dear ones), to get excited with every favourite and devwatch i got, i lost the will to work on my photography and spent almost two years without shooting a single picture, except for the personal ones everybody snaps from time to time. i just thought there was no use to keep doing what i was doing if there was nobody there to appreciate it. i slowly lost trust in my works and started thinking they were not good enough to be displayed.
but the fire was already here in my heart, and at some time this year i just couldn't resist the will and worked on some old photos again. the old sparks came back and i started photographing again, and being happy and satisfied with my works. i dedicated my free time into learning more techniques, refining whatever i could in my photos, contacting my models and shooting a lot. i also came back to dA, after having more than 5,000 messages gathering dust in my inbox, and saw the beautiful works that were waiting for me here. i submitting my own works again, and slowly people were coming to my gallery and leaving their appreciation. and that's what's making me a happy person nowadays, after some grey months of unhappiness and frustration left behind.
so i know most of you might not know this, but every single deviation view, every single comment, every single favourite, every single watch, makes me go on with my works. every piece of appreciation means a lot to me, because i spent so much time on my own, separated from my art, out of sheer frustration, thinking it was no good -- thinking
i was no good at all. so whenever someone shows the slightest appreciation to my photography, it makes me feel better about myself, about my world, about my life.
i'm writing all this down because yesterday someone did something that made me feel the most special girl in the world. i'm sure a lot of you will think it is not such a great deal, but for me the support it shows to my art makes it so overwhelming i couldn't hold my happiness when i saw it happening, and started jumping around and yelling.
left me a comment replying to me thanking him for adding me to his devwatch, saying he liked my works so much he had some of them on his wishlist. i told him that was great, and that i really wished someone bought my prints for him, because it would make both of us happy, since he'd have a print and it would support my subscription. i left the computer and went on with my daily chores, just to come back and rrad in my e-mail a message from dA saying that he had bought me a 1 year subscription.
i know nothing i say will really express how much this means to me, even with all i already wrote, because it would take knowing me and following my life for the last years. but one has to try -- that's the most valuable lesson i'm learning now from my photography.
so i want to thank all of you who come to my page and comment, fav my works and devwatch me. and of course a special,
huge thank you goes to richard a.k.a. , who just showed me so much support without even knowing me before. that was special, and for that i'm really grateful.
thank you.
please please please go check out the photos my new friend
took of me! they are GORGEOUS, his work is amazing! visit his gallery and show him some
, please!
MY SUPPORTER:
MY ODDS:
MY 
FEATURE: [link]
clubs i'm in:
stamps:
[ some manly eyecandy - EDIT: death-chicks feature
was not only featured in the same journal in the fetish category, but is also participating on the community's poll to choose the next featured deviant. please take ONE MINUTE of your precious time to go vote for him here: [link] thank you!
